Bags of tigers. Like it's no big deal! We're endangered!
And here, you know how many tigers - I mean, okay, he's not actually going to be able to kill me but I'm pretty sure I popped claw in rage and I'm trying to get a hold of these anger issues.
I don't usually sign up for "teaching teenagers about their rich history of genocide" but I am getting that guilty responsible feeling, this is the problem with Mexican Grandmothers.
[AND A PAUSE]
Don't be jealous, I mean, I'm probably not going to have sex with him. At least not on the first date.
[ He feels for her righteous anger, but he's kind of distracted by the bags part. ]
Really? Are you sure he's from Earth, because I'm not entirely sure that's legal.
[ Popped claw................... ]
And I don't mean - [ Well, yeah, maybe he does. ] You seriously wouldn't? I mean come on, if anyone should be able to get it on the first date, it's gotta be Captain Kirk. [ So much for the treading carefully part. He's a fanboy, he's obligated to root for the guy. ]
Well he calls people chum, I don't think he's from around-
Oh my god he touched me oh god I feel-
[There is a growl, a really horrible sounding one, and then silence for a second.]
Sorry, I lost a little bit of control there, I'm okay now.
[And now for the second part of this conversation]
He's going to have to make one really damn good argument. I mean, I'm really good in bed, and I'm not saying that just because I have preternatural skills, this is coming off what guys I've slept with have said. So you know. I could be doing him a favor.
[Pause]
A really good case, I'm just saying. I always liked Bones more. I can't help it. I'm part Indian. My other grandmother always wanted me to marry a doctor.
[ You're lucky he's dating a werewolf, girl, otherwise he'd be way more freaked out by this whole growling thing.
Although he's still reasonably not okay with it, because seriously, get your shit together. Either way, he only sounds mildly unsure when he replies. ]
Okay, so let's just shelve the chum guy for now, because I'm pretty sure the majority of the ship would mount his head on a wall if he went after any of the exotic animals in the gardens.
[ And you're also lucky his best friend is Sally the over-sharing not-ghost. There's a minor 'why' moment at the great at sex commentary, but he rallies winningly. ]
And I can't really fault you there. Not so sure about Bones in bed, though, he seems like he'd be a bit - [ Why is he thinking about this. But hang on, let's backtrack. ] Wait, did you just say your preternatural skills apply in bed?
Yeah, because no one's ever thought of those before.
[scoff.]
If I'm going to take the time to insult a werewolf I'm not going to fall back on dog jokes. Frankly if I'm going to start a fight, I'll do it with something that I don't feel isn't quite as overdone.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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And here, you know how many tigers - I mean, okay, he's not actually going to be able to kill me but I'm pretty sure I popped claw in rage and I'm trying to get a hold of these anger issues.
I don't usually sign up for "teaching teenagers about their rich history of genocide" but I am getting that guilty responsible feeling, this is the problem with Mexican Grandmothers.
[AND A PAUSE]
Don't be jealous, I mean, I'm probably not going to have sex with him. At least not on the first date.
audio; encrypted
Really? Are you sure he's from Earth, because I'm not entirely sure that's legal.
[ Popped claw................... ]
And I don't mean - [ Well, yeah, maybe he does. ] You seriously wouldn't? I mean come on, if anyone should be able to get it on the first date, it's gotta be Captain Kirk. [ So much for the treading carefully part. He's a fanboy, he's obligated to root for the guy. ]
audio; encrypted
Oh my god he touched me oh god I feel-
[There is a growl, a really horrible sounding one, and then silence for a second.]
Sorry, I lost a little bit of control there, I'm okay now.
[And now for the second part of this conversation]
He's going to have to make one really damn good argument. I mean, I'm really good in bed, and I'm not saying that just because I have preternatural skills, this is coming off what guys I've slept with have said. So you know. I could be doing him a favor.
[Pause]
A really good case, I'm just saying. I always liked Bones more. I can't help it. I'm part Indian. My other grandmother always wanted me to marry a doctor.
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Although he's still reasonably not okay with it, because seriously, get your shit together. Either way, he only sounds mildly unsure when he replies. ]
Okay, so let's just shelve the chum guy for now, because I'm pretty sure the majority of the ship would mount his head on a wall if he went after any of the exotic animals in the gardens.
[ And you're also lucky his best friend is Sally the over-sharing not-ghost. There's a minor 'why' moment at the great at sex commentary, but he rallies winningly. ]
And I can't really fault you there. Not so sure about Bones in bed, though, he seems like he'd be a bit - [ Why is he thinking about this. But hang on, let's backtrack. ] Wait, did you just say your preternatural skills apply in bed?
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Sorry. I didn't mean to growl.
[And then a pause]
Yes. Why. Can't wolves?
[Oh that comes out smug]
I mean I never wondered about the knot thing. At least not seriously.
[Hur hur. A pun.]
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[ And by 'we' he totally means 'they', but eXCUSE YOU. ]
I'm sorry? Did you just say "knot"?
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Yeah. I mean, come on. From what my male friends of my particular persuasion tell me, they get asked if they have barbs all the time.
It's not totally out of the question. I bet it's a metis thing.
[She is shrugging, but you can't hear that]
Anyway, yeah. It's a thing. Great sex.
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Well, I thought we already covered the not-a-metis thing, but -
Seriously? This is what you guys sit around and talk about?
[ Initial 'what the fuck' aside, though, why the crap hasn't he ever thought about this. ]
Although I guess it's safe shifter sex one-oh-one, "know what your dick is capable of". They should probably make pamphlets.
And no offense, but are you sure that's related to you being a cat? Because I've heard cats having sex. Nobody's having fun in that scenario.
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[Pfffft.]
I mean it's probably one of those weird metis side effects. Like how some of them don't have a sense of smell or a permanent tail or whatever.
And okay, you seem to be a perfectly nice guy, but seriously some of those jerks, it's like - try to get them to stop talking about their dicks.
[Oh look a compliment]
Maybe it's just that I'm excellent in bed. Also, Josh, I'm not cat. I wouldn't call your girlfriend a dog.
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QUIETLY MOVING ON....... although yes, thank you for saying he seems to be perfectly nice??? ]
Right, fair enough. Although you'd be one of a very select few, dog jokes are very in vogue in the werewolf circles back in Boston.
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[scoff.]
If I'm going to take the time to insult a werewolf I'm not going to fall back on dog jokes. Frankly if I'm going to start a fight, I'll do it with something that I don't feel isn't quite as overdone.
[Pause, though.]'
You're from Boston?
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[ Although he hates dog jokes too, actually, so- ]
But seriously, sorry about the cat comment.
And - yeah. Sort of. Ithaca originally. Why?
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Just curious.
[A bit of a laugh]
A lot safer a place than Los Angeles.
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[ hahAHA safe ]
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It has a huge vampire population.
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Is L.A. really worse?
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On top of it add those creepy fae out in Echo Lake and man.
Don't come to L.A.
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Did you really just say "ratkin".
[ but this is weird, because it's actually the closest someone's gotten to saying anything remotely familiar about back home, so- ]
Any chance there's a nasty flu going around L.A. that kills vampires?
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[Wererats are mean to her.]
I don't really follow if the bloodsuckers are getting sick and dying. But if they are I better not eat another one.
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[ and wow eating vampires.......... ]
... just to clarify, you mean while you're a tiger, right.
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But sometimes I get mad and I don't remember what happens.
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Yeah, no, they aren't exactly gourmet material.
Is it - like, is it all the time? Because werewolves are obviously just a once-a-month kind of deal, but yours - yours isn't?
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[S I L E N C E]
Uh.
Well.
No.
I mean, rage is rage, for me. I try and keep it in check.
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[ and that's - not good, and it reminds him more of vampires than wolves. ]
Don't suppose you've tried therapy?
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[A pause, and a laugh]
Rage isn't like-
It's not as simple as that. Without rage I wouldn't have ever been able to change. But yeah. I try to keep it in check. There are ways.
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oh mY GOD SIMMER DOWN he was just asking
CONDITION?
WELL
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