[ Again with the smelling. He doesn't bother confirming as much except for a nod, and he actually looks - sympathetic? Maybe. He doesn't really approve of Derek recruiting kids, but at least he's asking first. He's not entirely sure the guy deserves to die for that. ]
I'm not planning on telling anyone. I mean, barely anyone here knew about me to begin with, but - your pack. They wouldn't notice anyway, would they? And the rules are different. We can just tell them this is normal.
[ Fake being a werewolf, why not. He wouldn't have agreed to such a dumb plan before, much less offered it up himself, but things are - different. Or he is. For some reason, making the supernatural gears turn smoothly for his friends became something worth doing back home, and there's no reason to quit that here. ]
You aren't surprised that it worked. I mean, you are, but - you've heard of the cure before.
[ josh are you implying that derek's your friend right there is that what i'm seeing. ]
[ the offer is unexpected, and derek's surprise shows on his face for just a moment, just a quick flicker, before derek locks it down, pushes it away. ]
If we do it, it has to be on the comms. They'll hear the lie.
[ his voice is resigned, like derek's just accepted that lying to his pack on one level or another is something that has to happen, as much as he hates it. ]
I didn't know if it was true. I did a lot of reading, and some of the texts mentioned it. Nothing was certain.
[ Josh actually wonders if Derek always telegraphed so much, and it's just that he didn't bother to listen. Because it's there, even if it's not the usual human line of communication. Nora did that; maybe he'd finally gotten used to it.
Either way, he's not quite sure what "hear the lie" means. The twins' dad claimed he could smell fear, but that wasn't really the same thing, was it? ]
Fine. I can dodge them until it's taken care of, shouldn't be hard.
This is for them, too. You know that, right? It isn't really a cure. It doesn't make you more human.
[ And that's the real reason he's helping, why he's not just cutting ties now that he can do it clean; he lost the moral high ground that day, and he can't get rid of the feeling that he owes some kind of debt. ]
And it might not be true. Wherever you come from, it could still just be a myth, but - I guess that doesn't make it any less dangerous.
whatever put on the matching friendship bracelet josh
[ sometimes derek forgets that all werewolves aren't the same. josh was one of them, once, and now he isn't, and it tips derek off balance, and he doesn't pick up on the confusion, just takes for granted that josh will understand what he means. ]
Thank you.
[ derek says it quietly, not looking up at josh. he doesn't know if josh knows about what happened, about half his pack splitting. and they'd come back, boyd and erica, but derek will never feel secure again. his pack had splintered. those fractures would always exist. ]
[ He's got no clue about the pack splitting, and how it's ripped that stability out from under Derek, but one thing he is abruptly aware of is the fact that Derek's young. Younger than he is, and he never really took that into account.
Probably because he looks like a freaking thirty-five year old, but whatever. Either way, Derek's observation gets a short laugh. ]
Yeah, you'd think so, wouldn't you? It's - [ The same? Worse? It wasn't really a fair trade. ] I was gone for a year, you know. [ Except that doesn't quite sound right. ] Or it felt like it, anyway. I've been human for eighteen months, and last week was the first full moon I spent outside.
because plurk is down adn i can only communicate with you through subject lines.
[ that's the problem with derek. he's young and everyone who could have taught him anything about how to be an alpha, how to handle a pack, they died before they could. so derek fumbles along, trying his best, but it was never quite-- ]
So what now? What are you going to do now?
[ how do you cope with that? derek had never been human. he can't imagine it, being trapped like that. ]
[ At home it was try to help his friends while they tried to keep him out of it, but he hated being kept on the sidelines. Because he knew what was really out there, and no matter how much they insisted he was normal now and should have a normal life it wasn't an option anymore. Funny how he'd finally accepted that world the second he'd been kicked out of it.
But this is weird, because Derek's asking him questions like he actually cares. He's already said enough, and there's a pause as he tries to weigh what's going on. ]
You really do want to help people, don't you?
[ Your tactics are still terrible, man, but he's starting to get it. ]
[ at that, derek's head snaps up, suspicious, like he isn't certain josh isn't mocking him. that's not something people typically recognize about derek, or accuse him of doing, not even something josh has thought about him. ]
Josh isn't in a rush to say anything else, because he's not sure what exactly he's trying to accomplish here. What he knows is that he's no better than Derek now, possibly worse, and Aidan, Nora, Henry of all people - they were reminders of that.
Not to mention the fact that Derek hadn't ever really done anything to him. He was creepy and came on a bit strong with the wolf crap, sure, but that was just his language, right? Violence and doing anything to protect what's important - it makes sense, now. So when he finally speaks up again, it's entirely casual, but probably the second last thing Derek was ever expecting to hear. ]
Sorry for being such an ass. [ No specification, because it applies to most of their interactions, really. ]
I DIDN'T ACTUALLY WANT TO STOP GOSH also idk about this i just don't know
[ no one ever apologizes to derek. he doesn't know what to do with that, how to react to it. it's sincere, he knows it's sincere, but what is he supposed to say? ]
I killed my uncle.
[ no derek not that. ]
He was the alpha before me. The fire broke him, and we had to stop him. I had to stop him.
[ it's blurted, a little frantic, because josh tipped the scales in the wrong direction and it's just an apology, but derek doesn't want it. so he shoves back a little too hard, parcelling out a piece of information that josh could probably find out from any of the beacon hills crowd, if he asked the right person, but still, it's something. it's derek attempting to sympathize, to say thank you without actually saying thank you, to say that he understands.
there needs to be more context, but derek clams up, like he's shocked himself by saying that in the first place. ]
[ A year ago he might have mocked Derek for the vaguely inappropriate outburst, but now it - makes sense. It's still too much, and it's still too abrupt, but he actually gets it.
And that's the part he makes a bit of a face at, because wow, he understands what Derek Hale is trying to do for once, and he feels like that should disturb him more than it does. He could take this opportunity to pry, dig for more details, but that's not what this is. This is two wrongs make a right, apparently.
It's okay, Derek, Josh'll use words for you. ]
Anything to keep them safe, right?
[ Speaking of which, how about that first thing you asked. ]
That's what the gun is for.
YOU KNOW IN THE MORNING IT LOOKS MUCH WORSE THAN I HAD INTENDED....
it's easier to just let that stand. it's such a complicated mess of a thing, what happened with peter hale. it was about justice and about power and yes, about keeping people safe. but none of that is easy to explain, so derek lets it go. it isn't a lie if he doesn't agree, isn't that how things work? ]
That's how you keep yourself safe now.
HEY RUDE josh is the best one night stand derek's ever had i mean
[ It's a weird and vague answer, but he's not sure if there's a better one. He uses it to get himself into trouble, mostly - a shield for when he gets involved in things he really shouldn't. Safe isn't the right word.
He should probably also skip the part where he would use it to put down a rogue werewolf if he had to, right. He's quiet, and this time it might be slightly awkward, because he has no idea what else to say. Where do you go from mutual murder confessions, really?
Actually, wait, there is one thing. ]
So who am I dodging? Who's on the current pack roster, I mean. No offense, but the tally seems kind of fluid.
[ He means with each jump, obviously. Not the whole people turning their backs on Derek thing. Sorry buddy. ]
no josh hogged the covers and drooled on the pillow.
[ this is easier, talking shop. delving into facts instead of this, laying himself bare trying to find common ground and make josh feel better. sticking to just straight out plans, the how and the what, that's better. ]
Stay away from Peter, Erica, Isaac, Boyd and Jackson.
[ mentioning peter is his uncle? too easy. ]
Stiles is human, he won't be able to tell. Remus won't know unless it's a full moon.
[ He doesn't know half of those names, but - he'll figure it out. It's not hard to spy on people in the auggie lock. ]
Noted.
[ Then there's a pause, and this time it's definitely more awkward than companionable, because - he's not as good at talking shop, actually. Feelings are more his natural territory. And no offense, but you are kind of sitting in his room and he's had a long not-year, so in the politest way possible- ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
I AM AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME season 3 looks like pee tho also i think the one you're using is safe....
I'm not planning on telling anyone. I mean, barely anyone here knew about me to begin with, but - your pack. They wouldn't notice anyway, would they? And the rules are different. We can just tell them this is normal.
[ Fake being a werewolf, why not. He wouldn't have agreed to such a dumb plan before, much less offered it up himself, but things are - different. Or he is. For some reason, making the supernatural gears turn smoothly for his friends became something worth doing back home, and there's no reason to quit that here. ]
You aren't surprised that it worked. I mean, you are, but - you've heard of the cure before.
YES I CAN lbr no we can't
[ the offer is unexpected, and derek's surprise shows on his face for just a moment, just a quick flicker, before derek locks it down, pushes it away. ]
If we do it, it has to be on the comms. They'll hear the lie.
[ his voice is resigned, like derek's just accepted that lying to his pack on one level or another is something that has to happen, as much as he hates it. ]
I didn't know if it was true. I did a lot of reading, and some of the texts mentioned it. Nothing was certain.
friend more like charity case ok
Either way, he's not quite sure what "hear the lie" means. The twins' dad claimed he could smell fear, but that wasn't really the same thing, was it? ]
Fine. I can dodge them until it's taken care of, shouldn't be hard.
This is for them, too. You know that, right? It isn't really a cure. It doesn't make you more human.
[ And that's the real reason he's helping, why he's not just cutting ties now that he can do it clean; he lost the moral high ground that day, and he can't get rid of the feeling that he owes some kind of debt. ]
And it might not be true. Wherever you come from, it could still just be a myth, but - I guess that doesn't make it any less dangerous.
whatever put on the matching friendship bracelet josh
Thank you.
[ derek says it quietly, not looking up at josh. he doesn't know if josh knows about what happened, about half his pack splitting. and they'd come back, boyd and erica, but derek will never feel secure again. his pack had splintered. those fractures would always exist. ]
You must be happy. Being human again.
this is weird why are they talking
Probably because he looks like a freaking thirty-five year old, but whatever. Either way, Derek's observation gets a short laugh. ]
Yeah, you'd think so, wouldn't you? It's - [ The same? Worse? It wasn't really a fair trade. ] I was gone for a year, you know. [ Except that doesn't quite sound right. ] Or it felt like it, anyway. I've been human for eighteen months, and last week was the first full moon I spent outside.
because plurk is down adn i can only communicate with you through subject lines.
So what now? What are you going to do now?
[ how do you cope with that? derek had never been human. he can't imagine it, being trapped like that. ]
oh ok yeah that makes sense.
[ At home it was try to help his friends while they tried to keep him out of it, but he hated being kept on the sidelines. Because he knew what was really out there, and no matter how much they insisted he was normal now and should have a normal life it wasn't an option anymore. Funny how he'd finally accepted that world the second he'd been kicked out of it.
But this is weird, because Derek's asking him questions like he actually cares. He's already said enough, and there's a pause as he tries to weigh what's going on. ]
You really do want to help people, don't you?
[ Your tactics are still terrible, man, but he's starting to get it. ]
well now we can stop tho
[ at that, derek's head snaps up, suspicious, like he isn't certain josh isn't mocking him. that's not something people typically recognize about derek, or accuse him of doing, not even something josh has thought about him. ]
Yes.
[ he says it slowly, a shameful admittance. ]
MY INBOX ATE THIS HISS
Josh isn't in a rush to say anything else, because he's not sure what exactly he's trying to accomplish here. What he knows is that he's no better than Derek now, possibly worse, and Aidan, Nora, Henry of all people - they were reminders of that.
Not to mention the fact that Derek hadn't ever really done anything to him. He was creepy and came on a bit strong with the wolf crap, sure, but that was just his language, right? Violence and doing anything to protect what's important - it makes sense, now. So when he finally speaks up again, it's entirely casual, but probably the second last thing Derek was ever expecting to hear. ]
Sorry for being such an ass. [ No specification, because it applies to most of their interactions, really. ]
I DIDN'T ACTUALLY WANT TO STOP GOSH also idk about this i just don't know
I killed my uncle.
[ no derek not that. ]
He was the alpha before me. The fire broke him, and we had to stop him. I had to stop him.
[ it's blurted, a little frantic, because josh tipped the scales in the wrong direction and it's just an apology, but derek doesn't want it. so he shoves back a little too hard, parcelling out a piece of information that josh could probably find out from any of the beacon hills crowd, if he asked the right person, but still, it's something. it's derek attempting to sympathize, to say thank you without actually saying thank you, to say that he understands.
there needs to be more context, but derek clams up, like he's shocked himself by saying that in the first place. ]
DEREKkkkkkkkkkkk........
And that's the part he makes a bit of a face at, because wow, he understands what Derek Hale is trying to do for once, and he feels like that should disturb him more than it does. He could take this opportunity to pry, dig for more details, but that's not what this is. This is two wrongs make a right, apparently.
It's okay, Derek, Josh'll use words for you. ]
Anything to keep them safe, right?
[ Speaking of which, how about that first thing you asked. ]
That's what the gun is for.
YOU KNOW IN THE MORNING IT LOOKS MUCH WORSE THAN I HAD INTENDED....
it's easier to just let that stand. it's such a complicated mess of a thing, what happened with peter hale. it was about justice and about power and yes, about keeping people safe. but none of that is easy to explain, so derek lets it go. it isn't a lie if he doesn't agree, isn't that how things work? ]
That's how you keep yourself safe now.
HEY RUDE josh is the best one night stand derek's ever had i mean
[ It's a weird and vague answer, but he's not sure if there's a better one. He uses it to get himself into trouble, mostly - a shield for when he gets involved in things he really shouldn't. Safe isn't the right word.
He should probably also skip the part where he would use it to put down a rogue werewolf if he had to, right. He's quiet, and this time it might be slightly awkward, because he has no idea what else to say. Where do you go from mutual murder confessions, really?
Actually, wait, there is one thing. ]
So who am I dodging? Who's on the current pack roster, I mean. No offense, but the tally seems kind of fluid.
[ He means with each jump, obviously. Not the whole people turning their backs on Derek thing. Sorry buddy. ]
no josh hogged the covers and drooled on the pillow.
Stay away from Peter, Erica, Isaac, Boyd and Jackson.
[ mentioning peter is his uncle? too easy. ]
Stiles is human, he won't be able to tell. Remus won't know unless it's a full moon.
well it was cold ok
Noted.
[ Then there's a pause, and this time it's definitely more awkward than companionable, because - he's not as good at talking shop, actually. Feelings are more his natural territory. And no offense, but you are kind of sitting in his room and he's had a long not-year, so in the politest way possible- ]
Was there anything else, or... ?
excuses
No.
[ derek looks uncertain for a few seconds before he visibly pulls himself together and gets up. he's done here, or that's the impression he gives. ]
Be careful.
[ AND THEN HE'S OUT ]