[ The tension's finally draining from his posture, and even if he just looks defeated and meek as a result, he's at least more casual now - and maybe more open. The hesitant shields he'd thrown up didn't seem to last long. ]
Yeah, I'm not sure if I'd count on it. I'm clearly not going to be winning any friend of the year awards any time soon.
[ But whether Tosh knows it or not, hearing this from someone else is a point in Aidan's favor - not really enough for Josh to forgive the whole corpse thing, but now he feels partially responsible. It's hard to hold grudges when you helped sink the boat. ]
You seem... weirdly calm about this whole vampire attack thing. Your job back home must have really screwed with your sense of normal. [ Wait, that sounds rude. ] I mean, in a good way. [ ... wait. ] Actually, no, I guess there is no good way. I just mean a lot of people probably wouldn't worry about the vampire's well-being first.
You wouldn't be the first person to get caught up in your own problems and not see the ones your friends are having. Especially when they do their best to hide the fact they're even having problems. [ She feels really bad about how guilty the whole situation seems to be making Josh feel. ] Hey, sit down and have some of these snacks you brought, yeah?
[ Then she can't help laughing a little because, wow, has he hit the nail on the head. ] It really has. I don't...know that I even feel like I live in the same world as other people, most of the time. And it's not like Aidan is at the top of the list of Worst Situations I've Ever Put Myself In. At least he cared enough to warn me off and hold himself back. I dated a woman once who turned out to be an alien that planned to rip my heart out and eat it. And I still sort of feel bad for her. Worse for me, but she was stuck, you know? Just wanted to get home.
[ Wow, heart eating. That is pretty hardcore. He looks appropriately - surprised? Impressed? Confused? Probably a mixture of all three. No wonder she wasn't shocked by a plain old vampire. He's still a bit anxious and fidgety when he sits on the opposite bed at her behest, leans forward and locks his hands together to make himself sit still; but it's pretty much back to his baseline levels of energy. Still not up for space snacks, though. ]
You really take that "professional empathy" thing to new levels, don't you? [ It's a joke, but he means it as a complement. And the fact that she's just come out with the alien thing - which was mostly confirmed, just withheld from the network - it's another show of confidence, just enough for him to hedge a bit further with a serious reply. ] Sometimes I think life would be a lot easier if I got better at holding grudges. Sympathizing about assholes is kind of exhausting sometimes.
[ Of course, "assholes" is proxy for "monsters" here, but that might stand out a bit. ]
[ At least they're making progress. It's funny how Josh's nervousness over the whole conversation helps Toshiko feel a little more at ease, like she needs to keep her head so she can be reassuring. ]
It gets tiresome, yeah. [ OWEN. ] But I mean, when you think about it...we all have something in common. Humans and other...not-human beings, that is. We all want the same things. We want to be safe, and healthy, and cared about by someone, and have a home. And we're all curious and we feel pain and fear and... I don't know. It sounds a little weird, I guess. But I've always found it fascinating that you can take two sentient species that seem completely alien to each other, and find these core similarities. Like there really are universal constants in life, and I guess I like that idea.
[ There's a part of him that wants to hear that, wishes he could believe it right along with her, but he's a bit too far gone for that level of optimism. Still, it's reassuring to know she's so open-minded. ]
You really feel that way? I mean, don't get me wrong - it's very noble and kumbaya of you, but from my experience sometimes there are things that just want to make people suffer. [ Not strictly true - there were human motivations behind almost everything, but it wasn't enough of a justification for Josh. ] Where I come from it's not so much aliens as it is monsters. It's kind of hard to hold out an olive branch when someone's unapologetically living off the blood of the innocent.
I never said we were all capable of joining hands and getting along. Just that there are some fundamental things that make us alike. I wouldn't be at all good at the job I've got back home if I thought sympathy and diplomacy was always the answer. I guess one of those things we all have in common is that we can all be right bastards, too.
[ And isn't she being a little hypocritical, lecturing about universally shared qualities when she'd shoot Josh where he sits if she believed he was an honest threat to her life in that moment. Or to someone else's. ]
It isn't noble at all. It's interesting, scientifically. And it makes it easier to empathize. But as much as I feel sympathetic toward Mary's plight, for example, being lost on an alien planet? I'm not sorry that she's dead. She was dangerous, and murderous, and it had to be done. If she hadn't picked me, someone who knew the right people and had the right resources, she'd probably still be out there killing people. I don't think you have to believe an entire population is bad, to understand that the ones who do bad things have to be dealt with.
[ Oh. Yeah, that's slightly less kumbaya. But he's got no right to even feign surprise at that kind of realistic approach, because it's not like he's never killed to keep others safe. ]
I retract my broad statement, then. And while I'm now slightly terrified of you, I'm glad you know when to draw the line. [ The terrified comment is said as a joke, mostly. As far as she knows he's got no reason to worry about ending up on the wrong end of those tough decisions. ]
So what is the line for you, if you don't mind me asking? I mean, just how morally grey can things get before you're okay with them being dead? [ Because this is extremely important to his continued survival on this ship, apparently. He'd like to know where they stand, werewolf to alien hunter. Gosh this is a relaxing tea party. ]
[ She can tell it's a joke, and yet. She probably could have approached that in a less in-your-face way. Oh well, there are reasons Tosh isn't the public relations department of Torchwood.
So she half grins and half grimaces, and shrugs one shoulder. ]
Um. Ideally I'd really like to not ever be in a situation where anyone has to be dead? It's not exactly the career path I imagined for myself. I guess so long as this hypothetical person isn't on a killing rampage or trying to invade and enslave or eliminate the population, then everything's good. Not like there aren't all sorts of aliens coexisting peacefully. Or monsters I suppose, for that matter. I mean obviously. But someone has to keep the world safe from the ones that want to hurt and destroy, right? Not really something the police are generally equipped to handle.
[ Even if it's a sensitive topic for him, he appreciates her commitment to the cause. He wants to ask if that's why Aidan got a free pass, if she knows anything about his history, but - dangerous territory, and not his business to go into. The police comment makes him grimace slightly, but that's mostly because his experience with the police back home tends to involve them having fangs. ]
Yeah. No, that's completely reasonable. And brave. [ Because it is. If he weren't in the middle of this crap, he wouldn't want anything to do with it. ] So say, theoretically, there was an - alien - with a condition that caused it to hurt others. [ Totally subtle. Luckily his previous theoretical questions lead into it well enough to not be blatantly obvious. ] And they were trying to manage it, keep others safe, but they made - mistakes. [ Understatement. ] What side of the line would that fall on? [ He suspects he knows, based on her lenience with Aidan, but it's probably a good idea to be sure about these things. ]
Try to help them. [ The answer is immediate. ] I think I've given you a really bleak view of what things are like back home. We have lots of contact with aliens who aren't harming anything, and it's not as though we're trying to keep the Earth pure and human-only, or something ridiculous like that. I kept dating Mary after I found out she was an alien, after all. Didn't know about the heart-eating thing until it was almost too late, but that's on me.
[ The mention of 'mistakes' makes her fidget uneasily, realizing she's been sounding pretty self-righteous about things. ] Everyone makes mistakes. If there were no second chances, I'd be a prison cell right now. Sometimes you just do the wrong thing for what you think is the right reason, or you just flat out do something you regret. That's probably one of things that connects us all too.
[ And now you're back from scary territory and into compassionate but smart territory, good job Tosh. His response, however, isn't remotely immediate. He's quiet for a while as he processes that, weighs the fact that she already knows about Aidan - and the fact that nobody really knows about Josh except... other monsters. While that's probably the safest situation for him, he's not so sure about the rest of the ship.
He's calm and steady when he finally speaks up, though there might be a tiny grimace in his voice. Not something he'll ever be keen to say out loud, really. ]
... what do you know about werewolves?
[ And, just for the record - totally going to come back to that prison cell thing later. ]
[ Tosh would be perfectly happy to just let that prison cell thing go, Josh, really. Just sweep it right under the rug and pretend she never mentioned it. ]
Just things from films, really. I'm not much of a horror movie fanatic, it's sort of hard to be when it's pretty much your life, but with aliens instead of ghosts and monsters. I guess the part about silver is true, but only because Aidan said so. I mean I wouldn't necessarily believe in them at all except I figure if a vampire mentions werewolves out of hand like it's no surprise, then they're probably real.
[ Yeah, that's not much of an answer. She tries again. ] Um...with the acknowledgment that this is all speculation, I suppose I know that they're people who turn into wolves or wolf-human hybrids, depending on the mythos. That it happens during a full moon, if they bite you then it's contagious, and they can only be killed by silver or something. And I think there are supposed to be several on the ship, or at least Aidan thinks so.
[ Nope, too late. Prison is totally going to be a conversation. Casually, over tea. There's a moment where that tension creeps back in as she mentions the silver - mostly because why on earth was Aidan talking to her about how to kill werewolves - but it's subtle, and it's only notable because he's otherwise much steadier and solemn than his usual buzz of energy.
And now that he's decided to tell her, he's actually not sure how. He's only come out and said it a few times, and it's always been complicated. ]
Scratches can cause an infection too. [ Then a pause, because- ] Where I'm from. Apparently different worlds have different rules.
I didn't know that. I wonder why. I mean biting makes sense, there's the whole saliva thing, fluid transfer...but scratching? That's interesting, sort of changes the picture a bit, doesn't it?
[ She may not be a medical doctor or a biologist, but you pick up a few things assisting with alien autopsies. ]
Guess that makes sense, about it being different for other worlds. I suppose vampires are like that too, which is why what's food enough for some isn't for others. Sounds like you know a lot about this particular topic?
[ Yeah, no, it doesn't really make sense. Which should've been his first clue that any kind of medical cure would be futile, but denial is a pretty strong drug.
There's an anxious pause while he looks for any kind of answer, a way to say it without really having to say it. He opens his mouth, stops, and one hand goes to his right shoulder in a restless motion before he realizes that out won't work - didn't leave a scar. ]
That's how I was - [ And now he looks like he'd be happy to be anywhere but here, but it's a bit late for that, so instead he just stops to clear his throat before continuing. ] I was - scratched.
[ Really, Tosh supposes she should have figured that one out a lot sooner, but despite what experience should dictate, she never has developed a very good instinct for distinguishing 'secretive and a bit awkward' from 'potentially not actually human'.
She makes an 'o' expression and looks at Josh with wide eyes for a moment, then bites her at her lower lip. ]
I don't know whether I'm supposed to say I'm sorry that it happened, or I'm sorry for making you feel so uncomfortable about telling me. I mean I am sorry for that second bit either way, but- is this one of those situations where I try to be supportive and sympathetic and then realize I've stepped in it when you tell me about how I'm being intolerant of the werewolf experience?
[ She's rambling, but at least she's rolling with it. The last question earns a smile and a laugh, and it's genuine despite the edge of anxiety that still hasn't quite worn off. ]
Trust me, I'm the last person to defend a politically correct approach to the werewolf experience. It's crappy, and it's dangerous, and there's no such thing as take-backs when it comes to potentially eating people.
[ Actually, no, maybe he shouldn't joke about that - but he's not really joking, despite the mocking tone. There's a pause, and then, somewhat awkwardly: ] So I guess what I'm saying is - don't be too tolerant? Which probably sounds insane coming from me, but I mean that for everything. All of the monsters on this ship, not everyone takes them as seriously as they should.
[ Rambling is what Tosh does when she's unsure of herself -- it's something people get used to, after they've known her long enough. Ask about physics or computers and she'll sound like a textbook, but talk about people and unfamiliar situations and things she isn't sure she understands, and it's all fits and starts and sudden bursts of words. ]
Well, then I really am sorry. But at least you haven't any alien bugs nesting in you? [ That really is meant to be comforting. ]
I guess I've been afraid that my experiences with aliens might color how I treat people here. Maybe I've been erring too much on the side of accepting things at face value. Where I come from it's just a little easier to know who's on your side and who's not. Usually because the ones who aren't are trying to kill you. I always go armed, if that, um. Makes you feel any better?
At the risk of coming back to the "sounds insane coming from me" thing - yes? I mean, if I look like me, I'd appreciate you not shooting me, but if I ever - don't. Don't hold back on my account, alright?
[ This isn't the first time he's had the 'nuclear option' speech, and he means what he's saying. He'd rather that than wake up and find out he's hurt someone or worse. ]
... and I'm just going to tactfully not ask about the nesting aliens.
I won't promise to shoot you just for looking odd, but don't worry. I've a good sense of self-preservation.
[ No, that's a lie. But at least as far as it applies to taking down a threat, she means it when she says she won't balk. ]
Good idea, it's pretty disgusting. Which isn't meant to give you the impression that all aliens are terrible, but the ones I tend to deal with are mostly not very friendly. Huh. I wonder if aliens can be turned into werewolves...
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Yeah, I'm not sure if I'd count on it. I'm clearly not going to be winning any friend of the year awards any time soon.
[ But whether Tosh knows it or not, hearing this from someone else is a point in Aidan's favor - not really enough for Josh to forgive the whole corpse thing, but now he feels partially responsible. It's hard to hold grudges when you helped sink the boat. ]
You seem... weirdly calm about this whole vampire attack thing. Your job back home must have really screwed with your sense of normal. [ Wait, that sounds rude. ] I mean, in a good way. [ ... wait. ] Actually, no, I guess there is no good way. I just mean a lot of people probably wouldn't worry about the vampire's well-being first.
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[ Then she can't help laughing a little because, wow, has he hit the nail on the head. ] It really has. I don't...know that I even feel like I live in the same world as other people, most of the time. And it's not like Aidan is at the top of the list of Worst Situations I've Ever Put Myself In. At least he cared enough to warn me off and hold himself back. I dated a woman once who turned out to be an alien that planned to rip my heart out and eat it. And I still sort of feel bad for her. Worse for me, but she was stuck, you know? Just wanted to get home.
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You really take that "professional empathy" thing to new levels, don't you? [ It's a joke, but he means it as a complement. And the fact that she's just come out with the alien thing - which was mostly confirmed, just withheld from the network - it's another show of confidence, just enough for him to hedge a bit further with a serious reply. ] Sometimes I think life would be a lot easier if I got better at holding grudges. Sympathizing about assholes is kind of exhausting sometimes.
[ Of course, "assholes" is proxy for "monsters" here, but that might stand out a bit. ]
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It gets tiresome, yeah. [ OWEN. ] But I mean, when you think about it...we all have something in common. Humans and other...not-human beings, that is. We all want the same things. We want to be safe, and healthy, and cared about by someone, and have a home. And we're all curious and we feel pain and fear and... I don't know. It sounds a little weird, I guess. But I've always found it fascinating that you can take two sentient species that seem completely alien to each other, and find these core similarities. Like there really are universal constants in life, and I guess I like that idea.
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You really feel that way? I mean, don't get me wrong - it's very noble and kumbaya of you, but from my experience sometimes there are things that just want to make people suffer. [ Not strictly true - there were human motivations behind almost everything, but it wasn't enough of a justification for Josh. ] Where I come from it's not so much aliens as it is monsters. It's kind of hard to hold out an olive branch when someone's unapologetically living off the blood of the innocent.
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[ And isn't she being a little hypocritical, lecturing about universally shared qualities when she'd shoot Josh where he sits if she believed he was an honest threat to her life in that moment. Or to someone else's. ]
It isn't noble at all. It's interesting, scientifically. And it makes it easier to empathize. But as much as I feel sympathetic toward Mary's plight, for example, being lost on an alien planet? I'm not sorry that she's dead. She was dangerous, and murderous, and it had to be done. If she hadn't picked me, someone who knew the right people and had the right resources, she'd probably still be out there killing people. I don't think you have to believe an entire population is bad, to understand that the ones who do bad things have to be dealt with.
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I retract my broad statement, then. And while I'm now slightly terrified of you, I'm glad you know when to draw the line. [ The terrified comment is said as a joke, mostly. As far as she knows he's got no reason to worry about ending up on the wrong end of those tough decisions. ]
So what is the line for you, if you don't mind me asking? I mean, just how morally grey can things get before you're okay with them being dead? [ Because this is extremely important to his continued survival on this ship, apparently. He'd like to know where they stand, werewolf to alien hunter. Gosh this is a relaxing tea party. ]
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So she half grins and half grimaces, and shrugs one shoulder. ]
Um. Ideally I'd really like to not ever be in a situation where anyone has to be dead? It's not exactly the career path I imagined for myself. I guess so long as this hypothetical person isn't on a killing rampage or trying to invade and enslave or eliminate the population, then everything's good. Not like there aren't all sorts of aliens coexisting peacefully. Or monsters I suppose, for that matter. I mean obviously. But someone has to keep the world safe from the ones that want to hurt and destroy, right? Not really something the police are generally equipped to handle.
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Yeah. No, that's completely reasonable. And brave. [ Because it is. If he weren't in the middle of this crap, he wouldn't want anything to do with it. ] So say, theoretically, there was an - alien - with a condition that caused it to hurt others. [ Totally subtle. Luckily his previous theoretical questions lead into it well enough to not be blatantly obvious. ] And they were trying to manage it, keep others safe, but they made - mistakes. [ Understatement. ] What side of the line would that fall on? [ He suspects he knows, based on her lenience with Aidan, but it's probably a good idea to be sure about these things. ]
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[ The mention of 'mistakes' makes her fidget uneasily, realizing she's been sounding pretty self-righteous about things. ] Everyone makes mistakes. If there were no second chances, I'd be a prison cell right now. Sometimes you just do the wrong thing for what you think is the right reason, or you just flat out do something you regret. That's probably one of things that connects us all too.
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He's calm and steady when he finally speaks up, though there might be a tiny grimace in his voice. Not something he'll ever be keen to say out loud, really. ]
... what do you know about werewolves?
[ And, just for the record - totally going to come back to that prison cell thing later. ]
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Just things from films, really. I'm not much of a horror movie fanatic, it's sort of hard to be when it's pretty much your life, but with aliens instead of ghosts and monsters. I guess the part about silver is true, but only because Aidan said so. I mean I wouldn't necessarily believe in them at all except I figure if a vampire mentions werewolves out of hand like it's no surprise, then they're probably real.
[ Yeah, that's not much of an answer. She tries again. ] Um...with the acknowledgment that this is all speculation, I suppose I know that they're people who turn into wolves or wolf-human hybrids, depending on the mythos. That it happens during a full moon, if they bite you then it's contagious, and they can only be killed by silver or something. And I think there are supposed to be several on the ship, or at least Aidan thinks so.
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And now that he's decided to tell her, he's actually not sure how. He's only come out and said it a few times, and it's always been complicated. ]
Scratches can cause an infection too. [ Then a pause, because- ] Where I'm from. Apparently different worlds have different rules.
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[ She may not be a medical doctor or a biologist, but you pick up a few things assisting with alien autopsies. ]
Guess that makes sense, about it being different for other worlds. I suppose vampires are like that too, which is why what's food enough for some isn't for others. Sounds like you know a lot about this particular topic?
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There's an anxious pause while he looks for any kind of answer, a way to say it without really having to say it. He opens his mouth, stops, and one hand goes to his right shoulder in a restless motion before he realizes that out won't work - didn't leave a scar. ]
That's how I was - [ And now he looks like he'd be happy to be anywhere but here, but it's a bit late for that, so instead he just stops to clear his throat before continuing. ] I was - scratched.
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She makes an 'o' expression and looks at Josh with wide eyes for a moment, then bites her at her lower lip. ]
I don't know whether I'm supposed to say I'm sorry that it happened, or I'm sorry for making you feel so uncomfortable about telling me. I mean I am sorry for that second bit either way, but- is this one of those situations where I try to be supportive and sympathetic and then realize I've stepped in it when you tell me about how I'm being intolerant of the werewolf experience?
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Trust me, I'm the last person to defend a politically correct approach to the werewolf experience. It's crappy, and it's dangerous, and there's no such thing as take-backs when it comes to potentially eating people.
[ Actually, no, maybe he shouldn't joke about that - but he's not really joking, despite the mocking tone. There's a pause, and then, somewhat awkwardly: ] So I guess what I'm saying is - don't be too tolerant? Which probably sounds insane coming from me, but I mean that for everything. All of the monsters on this ship, not everyone takes them as seriously as they should.
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Well, then I really am sorry. But at least you haven't any alien bugs nesting in you? [ That really is meant to be comforting. ]
I guess I've been afraid that my experiences with aliens might color how I treat people here. Maybe I've been erring too much on the side of accepting things at face value. Where I come from it's just a little easier to know who's on your side and who's not. Usually because the ones who aren't are trying to kill you. I always go armed, if that, um. Makes you feel any better?
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[ This isn't the first time he's had the 'nuclear option' speech, and he means what he's saying. He'd rather that than wake up and find out he's hurt someone or worse. ]
... and I'm just going to tactfully not ask about the nesting aliens.
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[ No, that's a lie. But at least as far as it applies to taking down a threat, she means it when she says she won't balk. ]
Good idea, it's pretty disgusting. Which isn't meant to give you the impression that all aliens are terrible, but the ones I tend to deal with are mostly not very friendly. Huh. I wonder if aliens can be turned into werewolves...