[ He's not expecting that, either, and there's a weird flash of regret. It seems more final, somehow, but it's easier to take note of Derek's mood than it is to focus on the fact that he was probably a self-righteous dick to a teenager - and now there's no chance of correcting the mistake. He doesn't know half the details about Derek and Isaac, but it's easy enough to assume it's a difficult situation to be in. ]
Sorry.
[ It's awkward, and a bit forced, but he manages it. He'd rather state outright that he doesn't get how that's a bad thing, but he's guessing Derek doesn't need reminding on that front. ]
And thanks. [ Also awkward, but mostly honest. ] For letting me know. Is he settling in okay?
[ He sounds slightly hesitant, but that's only because he has no idea how to judge the tone of this conversation. It's not abnormal for Derek to drop status updates on him, but there's an openness here that's strange even for that. It feels a bit like Derek will bolt if he makes any sudden movements. Or says anything overly touchy feely, rather. ]
[ it's an erasure, like everything that happened before is suddenly less. derek doesn't know how to take it, to treat it like a second chance or a cruel joke. maybe it's a bit of both. things are like that up here, most of the time. ]
He'll be fine.
[ the apology is ignored, because derek can't really be bothered to try to process it. ]
How was last month?
[ he's talking about the full moon, for the record. josh is just expected to know that, that part of this is derek trying to understand what he missed. ]
[ oh right, that. josh would actually be okay with not talking about that, because it wasn't exactly clockwork. on either end, actually. he's not entirely sure how clockwork any of it is anymore, both the shifting and the shifting back. ]
Well, I'm not barking at you right now.
[ not exactly a rave review, but it gets the point across. he also takes note of the way derek's ignoring any and all sentimentality regarding isaac, and for once he respects it - even if he wouldn't mind focusing on derek's problems instead of his. he's growing as a person, okay. but that doesn't feel final enough, so a second later- ]
[ derek's problems are many and varied, and no one is going to be focusing on them if he has anything to say about it. which is really half the problem with derek, but who is possibly keeping track. ]
Really.
[ it's not really meant to sound as skeptical as it is, and derek has no high ground at all here. but other people's problems are sounding pretty awesome about now, so. ]
[ good luck with keeping that many problems on the down low, buddy. but back to josh's problems - he's intensely offended by that really. ]
Yes, really.
[ which he knows isn't going to cut it, so fine, details. ]
Remus is helping me grow wolfsbane. I'm using it to... [ he hesitates, because he's not sure what word applies here; the impact is weak, at best, but derek doesn't know that. ] Sedate the wolf.
[ derek looks horrified. like actually horrified, there is no other way to put that. the expression on his face suggests that he thinks josh has outright lost his mind. ]
You're poisoning yourself.
[ which is what it amounts to in derek's book. the belated realization that maybe the rules are different for josh's wolf than they are for derek doesn't change that impression all that much, because how do you even. ]
[ if he weren't so confused by that reaction he might actually find it hilarious. but speaking of isaac, they'd had a discussion once about wolfsbane, and the realization makes him jump to clarify. ]
No. I mean - well, yes, maybe technically, but only if you count prescription drugs as poison. It doesn't hurt, it's just... Xanax. [ said reluctantly, because those had been the twins' words. ] It helps mute it.
[ these are such awful descriptors. but that's how it works, really; it dulls the wolf's senses enough to make him feel more human. he's been avoiding it generally, but it's pretty much become a requirement nearer the shift. ]
It makes it easier to take care of on my own. Not that I wouldn't love to have you as my own personal werewolf alarm clock every month. [ not that it needs to be said, but that last line is intensely sarcastic. ]
[ there is such obvious skepticism on derek's face right now. he is honestly convinced josh has lost his mind and is only somehow saved from grisly painful death but sheer luck. ]
I don't mind doing it. [ if the alternative is josh from poisoning himself on the reg, but w/e ] You should be trying to get a handle on it, not using wolfsbane.
[ wow that look really seriously reminds him of aidan, how embarrassing. ]
Seriously, it's fine. The purebloods used it, it's completely normal.
[ werewolves dosing themselves so they can act more human, so totally normal. also, the truth is that yes, he'd prefer derek helping out in the sense that it's a better guarantee, but he'd also really rather not rely on him for anything. there's also the fact that derek insisting on helping is a weird about-face and josh is kind of a stubborn asshole, obviously. ]
I honestly don't even think that's possible. Unless I choke on it, but- [ that would be pathetic and also just kidding, not discussing that possibility with derek.
sass aside, he does appreciate the concern - even if it's more for the ship and derek's pr than josh, specifically. enough so that he reins in the jokes for an honest reponse. ]
[ there's a long pause, while derek considers that, considers whether or not to push. but in the end, that's the best he can get from josh. and maybe that's all he should push for, since derek's really not-- ]
Alright.
[ and then derek just ollies out THANKS FOR THE CHAT JOSH ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cradles it gently
Sorry.
[ It's awkward, and a bit forced, but he manages it. He'd rather state outright that he doesn't get how that's a bad thing, but he's guessing Derek doesn't need reminding on that front. ]
And thanks. [ Also awkward, but mostly honest. ] For letting me know. Is he settling in okay?
[ He sounds slightly hesitant, but that's only because he has no idea how to judge the tone of this conversation. It's not abnormal for Derek to drop status updates on him, but there's an openness here that's strange even for that. It feels a bit like Derek will bolt if he makes any sudden movements. Or says anything overly touchy feely, rather. ]
no subject
He'll be fine.
[ the apology is ignored, because derek can't really be bothered to try to process it. ]
How was last month?
[ he's talking about the full moon, for the record. josh is just expected to know that, that part of this is derek trying to understand what he missed. ]
no subject
Well, I'm not barking at you right now.
[ not exactly a rave review, but it gets the point across. he also takes note of the way derek's ignoring any and all sentimentality regarding isaac, and for once he respects it - even if he wouldn't mind focusing on derek's problems instead of his. he's growing as a person, okay. but that doesn't feel final enough, so a second later- ]
I'm dealing with it.
no subject
Really.
[ it's not really meant to sound as skeptical as it is, and derek has no high ground at all here. but other people's problems are sounding pretty awesome about now, so. ]
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Yes, really.
[ which he knows isn't going to cut it, so fine, details. ]
Remus is helping me grow wolfsbane. I'm using it to... [ he hesitates, because he's not sure what word applies here; the impact is weak, at best, but derek doesn't know that. ] Sedate the wolf.
no subject
You're poisoning yourself.
[ which is what it amounts to in derek's book. the belated realization that maybe the rules are different for josh's wolf than they are for derek doesn't change that impression all that much, because how do you even. ]
no subject
No. I mean - well, yes, maybe technically, but only if you count prescription drugs as poison. It doesn't hurt, it's just... Xanax. [ said reluctantly, because those had been the twins' words. ] It helps mute it.
[ these are such awful descriptors. but that's how it works, really; it dulls the wolf's senses enough to make him feel more human. he's been avoiding it generally, but it's pretty much become a requirement nearer the shift. ]
It makes it easier to take care of on my own. Not that I wouldn't love to have you as my own personal werewolf alarm clock every month. [ not that it needs to be said, but that last line is intensely sarcastic. ]
no subject
I don't mind doing it. [ if the alternative is josh from poisoning himself on the reg, but w/e ] You should be trying to get a handle on it, not using wolfsbane.
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Seriously, it's fine. The purebloods used it, it's completely normal.
[ werewolves dosing themselves so they can act more human, so totally normal. also, the truth is that yes, he'd prefer derek helping out in the sense that it's a better guarantee, but he'd also really rather not rely on him for anything. there's also the fact that derek insisting on helping is a weird about-face and josh is kind of a stubborn asshole, obviously. ]
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[ derek will argue that to the death. ( heh ) it's less that he's chomping at the bit to play alarm clock, but seriously josh, your life. ]
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Fine. No more wolfsbane, scout's honor.
[ jk he's going to keep using it and you can't stop him. it takes the edge off when he's not a wolf, too. ]
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Just don't kill yourself with it.
[ since clearly that's the best he can hope for ugh josh. ]
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sass aside, he does appreciate the concern - even if it's more for the ship and derek's pr than josh, specifically. enough so that he reins in the jokes for an honest reponse. ]
I'll call you if I need to.
no subject
Alright.
[ and then derek just ollies out THANKS FOR THE CHAT JOSH ]