growling | ic inbox.

[ This is weirdly refreshing. ]

MIT premed before... camping happened. I seriously thought I would be able to solve it by peeing in a cup after the shift for about 3 years.

[ Not peeing for three years, obviously. Just thought there was a medical cure to a curse for way longer than common sense should dictate. And yes, he's mocking himself - he's aware that's stupid. ]

[sssssorry josh but George might actually be even more pedantic than you and he's relieved enough by this lack of similarity - finally! - to make a joke.]

Well. I hope it was a large cup, then, if you were going for 3 years.

[ WOW thanks but whatever, he set himself up for that one. ]

You're hilarious, really.

Is it a quadruped?

[ BACK TO SCIENCE QUESTIONS. ]

I'll ask it next time, shall I?

[Buuuut...]

When I was attacked, it scratched me. So probably not a quadruped, no.

Not necessarily. Ours are mostly quadruped, but scratching is their MO of choice.

[ Okay but your lack of research actually pains him, how do you not even know this much. ]

You haven't even tried to film it?

[With rising temper:]

Right, yes, because that's a marvelous idea, isn't it. Perhaps after I could review it to watch how it tears everything apart. I could use that to reflect upon what would happen if someone ever came near enough for me to hurt. Brilliant.

That's not what I mean.

[ And separately, a few seconds later: ]

It's safer for others if you know exactly what you're capable of.

[ It doesn't help him sleep at night, but the point stands. ]

[In spite of himself, he feels his throat tightening.]

I know what I'm capable of. I felt what I'm capable of. I saw that poor stupid man with his chest torn out beside me. Sitting and watching Candid Camera of the wolf tearing up everything that comes near it isn't going to teach me anything new.

[ Which is... completely true, and makes Josh feel like an asshole. True enough in the ways that count, anyway; still doesn't make the details less important, but he won't be sharing his stupid werewolf journal with George anytime soon. ]

You're right.

[ Not quite 'I'm sorry', but close. ]

How long has it been?

[ He could probably clarify, but he doubts he has to. He used to be able to count how many days he'd been a wolf. Not anymore, because it's changed - he has - and he's guessing that change is worth paying attention to if he wants to avoid stepping on toes again. ]

[Shit, he doesn't want to be talking about this. Talking about it like this - it's like with Tully; he feels scared, and helpless, like someone's going to ask him questions about the werewolf using you instead of it and force him to think that way. But George is...Well, he's British, and he's talking to an American, and a British person doesn't say piss off when they've been having a civil conversation before because then will come the embarrassment of having to explain exactly what it was, and...Right, no.]

Two years, eight months. How long has it been for you?

[ It's starting to feel a lot more like a massive gaping distance than an occasional difference. ]

Over four. Years.

[ Except that's another lie, because he spent nearly a third of that human, and that's something he's not touching with a ten foot pole. And, for the sake of making amends for running roughshod over basically everything: ]

You'll be fine here. It turns out spaceships are surprisingly werewolf-friendly - way more secure than hospital basements and running naked into the woods.

[He looks at that a moment, then responds:]

No one's been bitten here?

Not that I'm aware of. I've been here nearly a year, so there's that.

[ Well, nine months, but way too close to a year for his liking. ]

[Well, that's good. Especially considering how many Lon Chaney types there are about.]

Right. That's good. Are there many vampires about? I'm guessing not, as no one's jumped me yet.

More than a bushel, actually. They're playing nice, something about a murder ship bringing everyone together. And apparently some of them are from worlds that don't prioritize beating the crap out of werewolves.

[All right, this is more comfortable.]

Oh my God, what do they do with themselves? They've must got more time on their hands than they know what to do with. I thought that violence was to them what Strictly Come Dancing was to the rest of us.

Probably bathe in donated blood. [ Actually wait that's gross. ] I take that back.

And really, Strictly Come Dancing? [ Says the guy who watched Grey's Anatomy for a while. ]

Yes, Strictly Come Dancing. It's a perfect equivalent, isn't it. It's pointless, it's rather stupid, it's perfectly painful, it's a sign of the end times, and yet for some reason hardly any of them can resist.

You've put a lot of thought into Strictly Come Dancing, haven't you? But I've never seen it, so unfortunately I couldn't say.

[ AMERICAN gosh. ]

Maybe go with the Kardashians next time.

I think you've another version over there. Dancing With the Stars is the name of it, and my God, I don't think I'm ever going to be able to forgive myself for knowing that. There's some piece of knowledge has been crowded out by that information, and the knowledge of who the Kardashians are.

[ Wow, are they seriously bonding over reality tv now. ]

Have you tried watching any of the media here? It's almost as good. Future space stand-up has some real zingers, let me tell you.

[Was there ever going to be any way to get them bonding]

Is that sarcasm?

The definition of.

Although sadly some of the science jokes are kind of good, if entirely theoretical from my standpoint.

Brilliant. And the rest, no doubt, are variations upon "a man walks into a spacebar," aren't they.

Probably? It's kind of like running a joke in Czech through babelfish. The words are there, but who knows what the hell the punchline is.

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