[ oh right, that sounds vaguely familiar, in the sense that neal blatantly danced around that topic previously. but hey, direct answers, that's nice. time to up the stakes. ]
Wow, conman turned lawman. How very Frank Abagnale Junior. Doesn't that go against one of your codes? Something about thieves being thick?
I was working much earlier than he was-- I rerouted the bus system to try to get to school on time for once.
[ the beer makes him expansive, mixed with everything else in his system. ]
They're more like guidelines, really. [ he loves pirates lbr here. ] That's why I work with Moz, I don't do well in other crews. Not a fan of heists that lack elegance.
[ so sometimes he decides his partners aren't being good at life, appropriating the take and selling them all out. ]
Wilkes tried to shoot me after we worked together.
[ Wow, drugged up Neal is about as comprehensible as regular Neal. That's how it starts, anyway, but by the time he gets to the 'tried to shoot me', he's being fairly disturbingly straightforward. ]
So what you're saying is thieves are never actually thick. Which makes sense, I always thought that was a stupid phrase, anyway.
[ Then, a beat later and very thoughtfully: ]
You're awful at making friends.
i love ur cooties the best don't tell the others they wouldn't understand our love
[ Who and what. What are you even talking about, you asshole. ]
Yes, well, the average human can only take so much hipster douchebaggery before they want to kill themselves and everyone around them. Maybe try a Star Wars quote next time.
[ Life advice!!! from Josh Levison. You've come so far, Neal. Also making jokes out of deep confessions, you're welcome. ]
But seriously, I wouldn't take it personally. I'm sure most people who steal everyone's things have fairly small social circles.
[ Josh is trying to enjoy his beer, dammit, would you quit dropping bombs. He looks suitably suspicious and suitably... pitying is kind of a strong word, but yes, there's some of that in there. ]
A- [ he's about to say what, but right, conman lingo. he catches on a second later, and instead of looking offended, he flashes a smile. ]
Yeah. Maybe not as much as you'd think, unless you're really into bedpans and- [ he's about to say rumproast, which seriously does have a completely sensible and not weird werewolf context. he's gotten way too used to talking about wolf crap with way too many people here, but neal's not one of them - he catches himself, if awkwardly. ] ... the hospital's drug stash, which I guess could be totally worth it.
[ neal's shrug is apologetic, but matter of fact. ] It's a sort of us and them, sheep and wolves mentality. You can lie to another con, but treating them like a mark will make things difficult.
[ after a moment. ]
It's your face-- too open. You didn't mean the drug stash, you were going to say something else and corrected at the last second.
[ he's not so much asking for the truth as announcing he's aware of the lie. ]
[ that earns a serious grin, just shy of actually laughing, but it's a weird mix of nonchalant and bitter. sheep and wolves, great word choice. ]
You're right. I didn't mean the drug stash.
[ josh is great at lies that skirt the truth, lies of omission - not so much direct ones. most people don't pay any attention to him back home, but there's no question anyone who did take interest would figure out what was up within a month or less.
he should probably just divert the conversation entirely, and if he hadn't spent over half a year on this ship, he probably would - but the truth is that it's getting increasingly difficult to bother being paranoid about what he is. space is great for perspective, apparently. or possibly awful?? ]
I was going to say rump roast.
[ he offers it up without hesitation, and it's half a challenge. it's such a stupid truth and such a stupid thing to lie about, given how obscure the connection is to the wolf issue - he's tempted to see if neal thinks he's bullshitting. ]
[ it's stripped of neal's usual vanity; he's always been good at reading people, at understanding what they need and how to change himself to fit that void for as long as it takes to steal from them. ]
...blackmarket butcher shop?
[ the odds aren't fantastic, but stranger things ( probably literally, if josh doesn't dodge ) have happened. neal's not going to share his father's sins or his mother's inability to function, not willing to talk about witsec in anything but the vaguest terms. origin stories are something he's more willing to respect the space around, these days. ]
[ the lack of vanity is the right way to go, of course. it's easy to kick up josh's defenses, and badly timed arrogance is one of the best ways to do it. ]
Hilariously, not entirely a wrong guess.
[ blackmagic maybe, but the butcher part's pretty applicable these days. and dinner parties with werewolves, how about not. they mostly consist of deer guts and eating vampires, nobody wants that. ]
But touché. I officially surrender on the dinner party debate.
[ clasping a hand to his chest dramatically, neal takes another sip and then toys with the label for a moment, neatly peeling one edge up and away without tearing it, an old habit picked up before moz. ]
Can I ask what the right guess would have been? I'll accept a no for once in my life.
[ there are a lot of things that run through josh's mind at the direct question, but not half as many as standard paranoia would merit. he's in space, first of all, so who the fuck cares at this point. more importantly - neal is a friend, sort of, even if he apparently doesn't know his real name.
what he does know is that neal can keep a secret, and josh is feeling weirdly sick of keeping them himself. there's a pause for thought, but not much of one. josh crosses his arms and leans back in his chair slightly, a hand rubbing idly at his left shoulder before he notices and stops. ]
Distracting the wolf on the full moon.
[ it sounds surprisingly deadpan, but there's an edge of bitter insecurity to it. ]
[ the blasé tone isn't an affectation, neal's heartrate thumping calm and easy as the moment before.
after a moment, he huffs out a quiet laugh. ]
You really should consider the butcher thing as a side business. I know plenty of people who would pay hand over fist for the privilege of buying meat in an alleyway, as long as it's good quality.
It adds a certain illicit feel to the proceedings. [ a shrug. foodies, man. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
oh my god of course you know coetzee i love you
Which side of the bars?
[ now he helps put people in jail, largely for doing shit he used to do himself.
y e a h ]
rubs hiatused self on you
The wrong side. Why, have you been on the right side?
[ he sounds very skeptical. no offense, obviously. ]
ew groce melissa cooties why
Neal Caffrey, FBI consultant. [ beat ] Ninety three percent conviction rate.
[ even trauma and the good shit cannot stop neal being smug. ]
grossssss
Wow, conman turned lawman. How very Frank Abagnale Junior. Doesn't that go against one of your codes? Something about thieves being thick?
collecting every cootie tbqh
[ the beer makes him expansive, mixed with everything else in his system. ]
They're more like guidelines, really. [ he loves pirates lbr here. ] That's why I work with Moz, I don't do well in other crews. Not a fan of heists that lack elegance.
[ so sometimes he decides his partners aren't being good at life, appropriating the take and selling them all out. ]
Wilkes tried to shoot me after we worked together.
i am so honored
So what you're saying is thieves are never actually thick. Which makes sense, I always thought that was a stupid phrase, anyway.
[ Then, a beat later and very thoughtfully: ]
You're awful at making friends.
i love ur cooties the best don't tell the others they wouldn't understand our love
[ that making sense thing is only so-so. ]
I'm fantastic at making friends.
[ half true; he's fantastic at conning people, and that's usually enough to be confused for being good at the former.
after a moment, he sighs. ]
It's the keeping I struggle with.
tells them all SHOUTS IT FROM THE MOUNTAIN TOPS
Yes, well, the average human can only take so much hipster douchebaggery before they want to kill themselves and everyone around them. Maybe try a Star Wars quote next time.
[ Life advice!!! from Josh Levison. You've come so far, Neal. Also making jokes out of deep confessions, you're welcome. ]
But seriously, I wouldn't take it personally. I'm sure most people who steal everyone's things have fairly small social circles.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO i thought we had something real
[ he is, in fact, pretentious about crime as well.
neal snorts, rolling his eyes a little and then wincing and stilling for a moment. ]
I'm a conman, I have an extensive social circle. [ but friends are different, is his unspoken implication. ]
nope it's only internet love
If it makes you feel better, I'm pretty sure my social circle back home was even smaller. And I don't even have the conman excuse.
ragequits our cr!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's hard to maintain honest friendships when no one knows your real name.
[ just casually dropping that bomb. ]
RAGEQUITS YOUR FACE
No one?
i changed my mind come back ilu
[ which was a good almost two decades ago, gj there neal. ]
It's all true, just in pieces. I'm good at those kind of things, even Peter didn't ever connect the dots without the rest of the names.
[ that makes literally no sense to anyone but him. ]
no never
And also no, that makes no sense whatsoever. ]
Even in space? Nobody can hear you scream out here, what's the harm in giving people your real name?
[ That scream part is a riff on the saying, but he does regret it slightly after he says it. ]
no subject
[ he didn't so much offer his name to himself so much as himself just knew, but the lines tend to blur. ]
no subject
[ no offense, of course. he's kind of gotten used to less crazy neal. ]
no subject
Oh my god, you should see your face. You would have been an amazing mark.
[ sounding wistful there is kind of a dick move, but that's the price you pay. ]
just pretend ok i only have like 2 smiling icons and they are mia
Yeah. Maybe not as much as you'd think, unless you're really into bedpans and- [ he's about to say rumproast, which seriously does have a completely sensible and not weird werewolf context. he's gotten way too used to talking about wolf crap with way too many people here, but neal's not one of them - he catches himself, if awkwardly. ] ... the hospital's drug stash, which I guess could be totally worth it.
god how wude
[ neal's shrug is apologetic, but matter of fact. ] It's a sort of us and them, sheep and wolves mentality. You can lie to another con, but treating them like a mark will make things difficult.
[ after a moment. ]
It's your face-- too open. You didn't mean the drug stash, you were going to say something else and corrected at the last second.
[ he's not so much asking for the truth as announcing he's aware of the lie. ]
you're wuder
You're right. I didn't mean the drug stash.
[ josh is great at lies that skirt the truth, lies of omission - not so much direct ones. most people don't pay any attention to him back home, but there's no question anyone who did take interest would figure out what was up within a month or less.
he should probably just divert the conversation entirely, and if he hadn't spent over half a year on this ship, he probably would - but the truth is that it's getting increasingly difficult to bother being paranoid about what he is. space is great for perspective, apparently. or possibly awful?? ]
I was going to say rump roast.
[ he offers it up without hesitation, and it's half a challenge. it's such a stupid truth and such a stupid thing to lie about, given how obscure the connection is to the wolf issue - he's tempted to see if neal thinks he's bullshitting. ]
untruths
[ it's stripped of neal's usual vanity; he's always been good at reading people, at understanding what they need and how to change himself to fit that void for as long as it takes to steal from them. ]
...blackmarket butcher shop?
[ the odds aren't fantastic, but stranger things ( probably literally, if josh doesn't dodge ) have happened. neal's not going to share his father's sins or his mother's inability to function, not willing to talk about witsec in anything but the vaguest terms. origin stories are something he's more willing to respect the space around, these days. ]
And you judged my dinner parties.
no subject
Hilariously, not entirely a wrong guess.
[ blackmagic maybe, but the butcher part's pretty applicable these days. and dinner parties with werewolves, how about not. they mostly consist of deer guts and eating vampires, nobody wants that. ]
But touché. I officially surrender on the dinner party debate.
no subject
[ clasping a hand to his chest dramatically, neal takes another sip and then toys with the label for a moment, neatly peeling one edge up and away without tearing it, an old habit picked up before moz. ]
Can I ask what the right guess would have been? I'll accept a no for once in my life.
pops cork
what he does know is that neal can keep a secret, and josh is feeling weirdly sick of keeping them himself. there's a pause for thought, but not much of one. josh crosses his arms and leans back in his chair slightly, a hand rubbing idly at his left shoulder before he notices and stops. ]
Distracting the wolf on the full moon.
[ it sounds surprisingly deadpan, but there's an edge of bitter insecurity to it. ]
u loev him josh u loev him so muuuuuuuch
[ the blasé tone isn't an affectation, neal's heartrate thumping calm and easy as the moment before.
after a moment, he huffs out a quiet laugh. ]
You really should consider the butcher thing as a side business. I know plenty of people who would pay hand over fist for the privilege of buying meat in an alleyway, as long as it's good quality.
It adds a certain illicit feel to the proceedings. [ a shrug. foodies, man. ]
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