growling | ic inbox.

[ he could lie. there's no reason he needs to be honest about this, particularly not with stiles. but it feels weirdly intrusive to say he can't when he can, so- ]

It didn't the first time.

[ which could easily imply it shouldn't this time, but the tone's entirely wrong for that. ]

And now?

[ a slight tone of pity in his voice. man, he's so worried about you, why are you the worst grown-up. even derek manages to look after himself ok most of the time. ]

[ why is he talking to a teenager about this out of everyone he knows on this ship. worst grown-up, he totally agrees. ]

The day or two before the shift, it used to amp up my senses. I think this time it's a more long-term upgrade.

[ said dryly, because frankly being able to smell things on this ship is not a blessing. ]

It's still nothing like Derek's. No super cool Wolfman look, no claws, just - smell and hearing, mostly.

[ 'super cool' used here in a very not complimentary manner, of course. ]

That sounds like it doesn't suck. Except for everyone you get to eavesdrop on, I guess.

I don't eavesdrop.

[ which is mostly true; it's hardly focused enough for that. ]

Honestly, it's mostly just annoying. But not half as annoying as the smell thing, obviously.

I'd eavesdrop. Everybody eavesdrops. It's why Derek uses texts to communicate ninety percent of the time.

And here I thought he was just shy.

But no, not everybody eavesdrops. Just because you can doesn't mean you should.

Bull. Like you wouldn't.

[ you're the dude who copes by writing all the info into a journal, he wants to point out. and that's a technique he's familiar with. he'd do it, to get the answers to his multitude of questions, so maybe it's a doubly good thing that josh didn't scratch him. ]

Whatever. You should still join the pack. It's not... like I thought it'd be. I mean, do I look subjugated by Derek's Alpha dominance? Eurgh.

[ he doesn't bother to continue arguing the point, because it's pretty obvious stiles isn't going to believe him either way.

that and he probably would eavesdrop if he had a good reason. ]

I don't do packs.

[ it's still calm, but there's a drastic switch from the conversational tone of before; heavy, resolved. ]

What does that even mean.

It means the last three people who tried to get me to join their pack ended up dead.

[ which isn't meant as a threat so much as just the truth; it never ends well. ]

Because of you? Or just, you know. Incidentally.

[ are all his friends gonna turn out to be killers? is this his life now? (yes). ]

Because of me, incidentally or otherwise.

[ he hadn't killed all of them himself, but they'd probably still be alive if they'd stayed away from him. close enough. and even though the wolf was here, now, the violent disgust at the idea of submitting to some kind of animal hierarchy hadn't gone away. ]

I have my friends, and I have my family. That's enough.

[ just different words, really, but ones that make a difference to him: family is human, pack is animal. ]

I can get that.

[ like, seriously. if it hadn't been for lydia talking about the future and scott disappearing, his need to stay in derek's inner circle and no more good excuses, he would still be using those words too. so he doesn't press. ]

Thank you.

[ for dropping it, basically. it's among his least favorite conversation topics. ]

And - sorry, again. For the whole trying to viciously maul you thing. You can come by whenever, just - check first.

ic inbox.

voice. / auggielock. / but this isn't my musebox

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